For those trying to reach me via phone and are having no luck, the number has been changed. If you want the new one, simply email me and I’ll get back to you. Also, anyone who hates to call but loves texting (A bit weird to me but I won't judge you right away... If you're lucky!), you now have the latter for contact as well.

On a completely different note, Britney Spears' "ooh la la" is currently burrowing into my brain like some kind of parasitic worm. What do you think I should do to relieve the horror?

A. Make myself "dig it" and do some kind of German inspired thrusting dance.

B. Run outside on this soon to be stormy day and hold my keys in the air hoping that death will be my sweet release.

C. Leave a special surprise in her mailbox along with a note stating the obvious "You suck!" And by special surprise, I mean a turd.* Yep. Going for some shock value.**

D. Pencil. Ear. I think you know where I'm going with this. Or I suppose I could do the cotton ball method for you squeamish punks.

Remember, there’s a wrong answer, fuckwads. Hahahahaha! I mean, gentle reader! Will YOU be on the winning team?


* “What kind of turd?” you might be asking. Does it fucking matter?!
** On a serious note, I would NEVER do such a thing to Ms. Spears. I am a pillar of the community you know and such tomfoolery would be beneath me. Now fetch me my oreo ice cream cake, peasant.