The Era of Heat Miser

I’m so sick of this weather right now. The air is too hot. Hell, even the wind is hot. When I went to pick up my mail, I thought I saw a couple of tumble weeds and a cow skull. What’s next? Am I going to have to take a canteen filled with precious water just to walk to Arby’s? Or perhaps wear a pee shirt on my head just to cool off (Thanks, Bear Grylls!)?